Thinking about regrets and what you’d change if you had the chance always reminds me of Sliding Doors. Man, John Hannah was a fox. I have such a thing for that guy. He was on Agents of Shield this year and he totally holds up.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Regrets. Everyone has those things we sometimes wish we’d done differently. Where we wish for the road less traveled or look back and think what if. For example, I’m amazing at coming up with snappy and cutting comebacks about 6 days after someone insults me.
Time was I had a lot of regrets in my life. I spent far too much time regretful over every tiny decision I made even though some of them were tiny. I regretted what I wore and what I ate and what I did on a Saturday night. I didn’t just sweat the small things though. I regretted struggling at school because I chose the wrong subjects in my teens. I regretted my bad taste in men in my twenties. I regretted letting people go that weren’t worth my time in my thirties. One day, I had a slight panic attack about how much of my time I’d spent looking backwards and how much I as missing in the present. That’s right – I started to anxiously regret my regrets.
That particular bout of existential angst took me a number of years to work through. Once I did though, I realised that all these wrong turns were pretty vital in forming my character. The miserable decision of taking all science subjects instead of the humanities I loved taught me to listen to my instincts about what I’m good at. My disastrous choice in men in my twenties taught me how to recognize the right one when he came into my life. Despite the mistakes, I’ve ended up here – happy, fufilled, loved and most importantly, confident in my own skin. Every misstep helped create this life, so I wouldn’t dare change a thing. I’d probably be the worst time traveler ever.
Is there one thing you’d go back and change or do you also have no regrets? Confess in the comments or join the link up over at My Home Truths!
There’s a word for thinking about a comeback well after the conversation has finished – I’ve forgotten what it is tho, but it means it must be a pretty common habit for most of us…
A quick google tells me the French call it l’esprit de l’escalier – everything sounds prettier in French.
I’m much the same – sure we all make mistakes, but we learn from them! If we hadn’t made those mistakes we wouldn’t be who we are today.
Exactly! I think it’s important not to beat yourself up over these things.
I had a thing for John Hannah too – no regrets there! 🙂 I too was rather anxious when I was younger, but now I’m much more laid back – I only occasionally regret what I wore or said 😉
Yeah me too. I tear myself up about it less though too. Time was I’d be tortured by saying something stupid for weeks. Now I sort of shrug it off after a day. Progress!
This is a great post, I’m moving into my late(ish) 20’s now and a whole lot of regrets have started haunting me… But I suppose without making those (now regretful) decisions I may not be the person I am today. 🙂
It’s a hard thing to work through. I went through the same thing in my late twenties. Must be the time for stock taking and things before the big 3-0.
I love the way you look at your regrets…as learning opportunities for you to see the right things further down the line. Often really hard to do in the moment, always easier when you look back and reflect!
Hindsight really is 20/20 isn’t it?
Loved that movie! Yes, some regrets but I always remind myself that I did the best I could at that particular point in time with the information I had then.
I love your take on this Tory. I also firmly believe that you are only who you are because of the path that has led you to here, to now. Any other decision along the way would have led to a different you…
I’ve been thinking of you this week Kirsty xx hope you’re doing okay.
My only regret is that John Hannah doesn’t realise that he’s madly in love with me. Mostly due tot he fact that we’ve never met. He is a fox. It took me a few decades to realise but regrets only hold us back from moving forward and enjoying our life now.
We will have to figure out some sort of time share arrangement 😉
The first thing that comes to mind is the friend with benefits. I would definitely go back and tell myself to stay clear of him! Other than that, I look at things the same way that you do – my mistakes made me who I am today, and I’m pretty happy with that person. 🙂
I must hear more of this story 😉
I have a ton of regrets, but like you I wouldn’t change any of them. I made some pretty big mistakes but they have come together to make me the person that I am today.
no regrets here for the very same conclusion you drew, they all made me who I am and without them my life would be very different and I love my life!
I love hearing people say that! Our lives are pretty damn awesome 😀
Loved this post. I am the same, I keep looking back and thinking and forgetting to live in the present and move forward. Would I change any of my regrets? If I could, I would but only if that made me a better person today.
It’s a hard line of thought to follow I think. I just find it’s easier not to look back anymore.
Regret is my least productive habit. Our choices shape us, for better or worse!
I’m a bit like that with life — in tough moments I’ll wish I’d done some things differently but in the end, it’s all got me to where I am now. While currently I’m not content, it’s all still made me who I am.
When things are rough, I definitely second guess myself like crazy. Hindsight being 20/20 and all. I so get that.