I’ve never really gotten the concept of making another person feel guilty for their choices. It sounds a little hippy-dippy but unless someone’s choice was actually affecting other humans I just kind of meh-d and moved on with my life. I assumed that being a parent would be similar, everyone raises their own kids their own way and no-one really cares what anyone else is doing, except to comment about how super cute they are. And then met mummy shaming.
Meme for cuteness before I go into my rant.
This week Chrissy Teigen mentioned that she is going to hire a night nurse and the internet seemed to go wild with people saying how awful that was. Or when Reese Witherspoon posted a cute breakfast on Instagram for her toddler and was denounced for the demon sugar. Or that time Ryan Reynolds accidentally put his baby in the carrier wrong and people just lost their freakin minds.
Sadly it’s not just keyboard warriors berating celebrities through a screen either.
I had someone walk up while I was feeding and state ‘you should be breastfeeding that baby – that’s basically child abuse’. It was breast milk in the bottle.
I had another individual lean into the stroller and coo ‘if your mummy made you walk you wouldn’t be so fat’. Bitch, he can barely freakin crawl, he’s not even a year old.
I’ve been told my C-section was the easy way out, lazy and selfish. He had the shoulders of a linebacker even as a newborn.
I’ve been repeatedly asked who was taking care of my son and then berated because he’s too young for day care even though he adores it.
I am incredibly lucky to have the support network I have: my amazing family and equally wonderful new mothers group. If I hadn’t had them, these comments would have felled me in my tracks. Seriously though, what is it about my face that says ‘Hi, please tell me what I’m doing wrong in the nastiest way possible’? When did it become okay to walk up to a sleep deprived mother and fat shame her 8 month old? Are people just walking around thinking that the world is an internet comments section and I won’t slap them? I mean I wouldn’t, but that’s more about not being able to summon up the energy.
I’m not sure I’ll ever understand the thought process behind saying nasty things to others, particularly those that struggle the most. I’m not even sure I want to. Let’s all make this a world where we smile at someone having a bad day, offer support to people who need it and entertain other people’s cranky kids in supermarket check out lines. Or maybe I’m just being hippy-dippy again.
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