I’m no stranger to a cooking fail, mainly because I’m a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to cooking. My mum tried in vain for years to get me interested, but I didn’t really start to enjoy it until I moved out alone and got sick of 2 minute noodles every night. Like most people I’ve developed some tried and true favorites that I can cook correctly every time without much thought, but from time to time I like to experiment with new recipes or just throw stuff in and hope for the best. Sometimes I end up with triumphs (like the awesome risotto made completely in a microwave), but has also led to a fair few inedible failures. Here’s three of the best (worst) for you.
I started off teaching myself how to bake as I thought if I got it wrong, at least it wasn’t too expensive of a mistake. There’s nothing better than biting into a freshly baked brownie or biscuit that you made yourself. The sense of pride is amazing. Early in my cooking career, I made a batch of peanut butter cookies and proudly brought them out for friends to share with coffee. They tasted like peanut butter choc chip Drano. I ran out of baking powder and figured baking soda was the same thing. Nope, nope nope. I’ve never lived this one down. Every time they eat my cooking since a joke is cracked about whether or not it is safe for human consumption. Thank God for Google, it’d never happen now you can check these things during the cooking process.
Salmonella On A Plate
After moving out, I had my entire family over for dinner to prove how mature and responsible I was. And what says mature and responsible better than a full roast meal with all the trimmings? What could go wrong? Well, I didn’t realise that you have to adjust temperature for fan forced ovens, and my roast came out with crusty black crackle and raw in the middle. I’m not talking the little blush of pink that chefs love, I’m talking practically oinking. Luckily my clever mum was helping me in the kitchen and showed me how to finish it off in the microwave to avoid embarrassment. And food poisoning.
Classy Vegetable Pulp
Back when we were dating, I learned my now husband hates eggplant, tomatoes, zucchini and capsicum, all of which I love. For some bizarre reason I decided the way to convert him was to cook them all together, because yeah that seems like a good idea in hindsight. I mean, it doesn’t even look that appetizing in the movie and that’s made all fancy and stuff. Ratatouille is a simple dish but any episode of Masterchef will tell you that often the simplest dishes are the toughest to get right. Cook it too little and its basically salad. Cook it too much and it’s unidentifiable baby food. I tried slow cooking it for some unknown reason and fed my husband mush. This fail has become the yardstick for all future fails – ‘I know it tastes bad, but is it ratatouille bad?’
Have you had a recipe disaster? Share in the comments or join the link up over at My Home Truths!